Do you ever find yourself going backwards? Going in the wrong direction once again.
When you are determined and committed, you put in your all but then someone from your past, vulnerable state comes back and brings all those feelings, emotions and thoughts back. Opens up that possibility of going backwards, taking two steps back instead of two steps forward.
You know what you need to do for your own health and wellbeing but cannot fathom the thought of giving this opportunity up. The question I must ask myself : “Is this really an opportunity, a good, positive opportunity that will allow me to heal and move on” or is it an opportunity that is negative, will put me in a more vulnerable place.
THEN REALITY HITS
You look at how far you’ve come in the past few weeks after months of being destructive. After months of not caring about yourself, not caring what anyone else thought, not caring about your life or work. You know that there will be times in your life/future when I will feel weak, vulnerable and tempted to go back to my old ways but I need to remember to open up to the ones who love me, care for me and ask for help instead of falling back into that destructive dangerous cycle.