Fight like a girl…

I am currently in the middle of reading the novel “Fight Like a Girl” by Clementine Ford. I have never really heard much about feminism and how empowering feminism can be. I never knew that a book could be so life changing and how good a book could make you feel.

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Feminism is something that is rarely spoken about and the subject is sadly becoming taboo. Clementine covers so many subjects that so many women struggle with or have struggled with. She lets out her emotions, thoughts and feelings in this book which makes it all the more interesting and empowering to read. She covers subjects such as men, how women live in the kitchen, abortions and much more.

While reading this book  I have experienced many different emotions, thoughts and flashbacks to many of the things that have happened in my life or things I have or currently am dealing with.

There are certain subjects that Clementine covers in this book that hits harder for me than others. The anger she presents/portrays in this book is so relatable. Her anger towards men and the way they treat women really makes my blood boil. So many men have this belief that women belong in the kitchen. They are the ones to stay home and clean the house, look after the children and cook the food while the man goes to work and earns the income. It’s simple comments like “you belong in the kitchen,” or “go make me a sandwich” that men direct toward women that can have more of an impact on them than they realise.

Clementine talks about hair removal and the way men expect their “girl” or “woman” to look. For example, clean shaven, sexy lingerie, only wear certain colours etc. I have come across a number of guys that have been very particular or strict per say  on how I was to look or dress. I was told I have to be clean shaven otherwise I would get punished in ways no one should ever get punished. Why is it that it seems to be okay for men to have so much judgement on women? Why is it okay for men to tell us women how we should look or telling us to get hair removal? Women are human as well and as a human it is natural for us to have hair on our legs, genitals, under our arms, on our arms etc., so why oh why do men think it’s okay to tell us to remove it all? So what if a girl didn’t shave her legs one week or if she didn’t shave under her arms. It irritates me when men think it’s okay to tell a girl she is like a bear “down there” or her legs are too hairy. What if a girl feels more confident with hair on her genitals than she does without it? Men need to cut women some slack and love them for who they are.

When women fall pregnant, it is up to the woman and the woman only what she does with that baby. No one and I mean no one has the right to tell her what she should or shouldn’t do with that baby. No man should tell a woman that they have to abort it. It is her body, her baby, her life and she has the right to choose what is best for her and her life. People abort for so many different reasons – ask women who have aborted and I promise each of them will have a different story or reason why they chose to. Clementine mentions in her book that she has had a few abortions and why. Like she says in the book- women have the right to have control over their lives and what they choose to do with their bodies. 

There is one part of Clementine’s book that really hits hard and deep for me. Find this passage below~

How can men possibly hope to change the world in all ways that women need when half the time they don’t even realise we’re living on two different planes of the same dimension? We are the only ones equipped to lead the feminist fight because we are in possession of knowledge that can only be gleaned from experience. Surrendering control of our liberation to the same men who benefit from us being denied it isn’t just a dangerous exercise in irony – it’s a guaranteed way to ensure nothing truly changes.

Women are being killed on a weekly basis by men who hate them so much but want desperately to control them. We’re raped, violated, abused, pushed around, undermined, ridiculed, mocked, beaten, bullied and degraded. And to make matters worse, we’re told that our complaints about these things are overwrought, hysterical and defamatory. “Suck it up, princess, the world isn’t fair. Get over it, it’s just a joke. A good cock up ya will sort you out.” 

And still they ask : Why do you hate men?

This part of Clementine’s book really hits hard and deep for me. It really gets me thinking and brings out many different emotions and feelings for me.

More of us women need to be aware of feminism, the effects it can have on other women and how empowering and inspiring it is for others as well. I know by just reading this book, I don’t feel so alone in certain aspects of my life because I feel Clementine is there with me, walking this journey and knows what it’s all about. Women have the right to be how they want to be. If you want to let your leg hairs grow – THEN DO IT! You don’t want to shave your genitals – THEN DON’T! Women don’t have to be feminine all the time- we are human. As women we deserve to be able to slouch around in our PJ’S all day, messy unwashed hair, hairy legs, under arms, genitals or even not shower all day until you feel like it. We deserve to be able to eat what we wish without being ridiculed, judged or called names because of it.

GIRLS – BE FEMININE WHEN YOU WANT TO BE! DON’T LET ANY MAN TELL YOU OTHERWISE…

This book has made me want to make a stand for feminism. EACH WOMAN DESERVES IT INCLUDING ME! Stand up for yourselves and know you are worth it.

Stay Strong

xoWoundsHeal96

 

 

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Baby Steps

Everything in life takes time and patience, perseverance and strength. Change only happens when you want it. What you allow is what will continue.

2 weeks ago I went back to my therapist after the Christmas season break. There were some things that were super hard to discuss with her but I know it was all for the best. Even before seeing her I knew I had to change my life, change the things I was doing and change who I was becoming.

The problem was that I didn’t know how to change, what steps I had to begin to take to make a change. Quite a few months ago I quit my gym membership as I wasn’t going as often as I had liked and I was just paying for it and not actually using the facilities available. By quitting my membership it just made things go downhill even quicker. I wasn’t getting any physical activity or doing anything positive for myself or my body. It was only at the beginning of the new year that I decided 2017 would be my year to get fit, healthy and get the body I had dreamed of for so long. I joined a new gym but unfortunately that didn’t help my motivation levels. Since suffering from mental health issues my motivation for things have never been great but I used to put in effort to change all of that. Over 6 months ago when my life was going down a very messy and destructive path I had no motivation to even try to help myself so it just got worse. It’s when I went back to my therapist after the Christmas break that things seemed a little brighter.

I told my therapist my body goals and how I wanted to get back into the routine of going to the gym a couple times a week and told her how I had failed to do so. In the new year I set myself goals by telling myself I would go to the gym every day of the working week for an hour but I just failed miserably. My therapist said that I had to set goals for myself that were achievable because by telling myself I would go to the gym every day of the week was unrealistic as when I missed a day of gym I would feel shit and then I would feel unmotivated to go again that same week and the cycle would start all over again. My therapist wrote down a list of things that were the “B” (Behavioural) in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). She wrote a list of pleasant things that would give me pleasant feelings and one of those things was to go to the gym 2 times a week for 30minutes. By having a small goal to reach such as gym 2 times a week it has made me feel like it’s something that I can easily achieve.

This week I managed to go to the gym twice and I ended up doing a workout for an hour each time which obviously made me feel more accomplished and motivated to do it all again next week. It’s all about baby steps, and taking things slowly until you reach your goal. By setting yourself up with unrealistic goals/tasks it can make you feel pathetic, weak and like you are never going to reach where you want to be. Taking things slow, and taking baby steps doesn’t mean you are weak or pathetic, it just means you are taking things at your own pace to feeling accomplished by achieving your goals. Starting off might seem like you are walking along a beach and your footprints just get washed away by the sea and you have to start all over again. But the more you keep going and pushing harder each time, your footprints become permanent.

REMEMBER – It’s baby steps to success 🙂

Stay Strong

xoWoundsHeal96

 

Getting Fit…

A few days ago I joined up to a new gym and today was the first day in over 4 months that I actually went back.

My motivation levels for doing anything has been so bad but my motivation for exercise and/or gym has been even worse. The thought of going to the gym and working out makes me feel so blaahhhh. I keep thinking “I want this fit, toned body. I want to feel good about my body at all times” but at the same time I just see it as pointless and too much effort.

Walking into the new gym today was daunting. New equipment, new environment. I didn’t know where to start, how to use any of the equipment and my mind set was absolute shit. I would have much rather been laying in bed or sitting on the couch watching TV. I knew that by joining this new gym it was for the better, it would better me and help my mental state and help me become more fit.

I remember how good I used to feel when I went to the gym on a regular basis and when I started seeing a change within my body and muscles. I just want that back again but I know it’s going to take a lot of patience, training and time. When I did my workout today it just felt pathetic, like it was no use and that it was all pointless. It felt like that no matter how hard I try or try and set my mind to go to the gym 3 times a week that I am just setting myself up for failure. I feel that I’ll never get that body I have been dreaming of and that working out is always going to be such an effort for me and super painful. I can’t even remember how I got through this pain, lack of motivation and bad mind set when I first ever joined the gym.

I honestly feel like I achieved nothing at the gym today. Like I got no benefit from it. I know it’s only the first day back at gym after months of not going but I feel like giving up on it already.

xoWoundsHeal96

Morals & Standards

Not all of us in this world have morals and/or standards. Some of us don’t care where we end up in life or what we do. Some of us don’t care about the people around us or the ones we love. Some of us are too caught up in our own lives they don’t realise what is standing right in front of them. Some of us don’t care what we look like, how we dress, how we act of even how we treat the ones we love or the people around us.

Not all of us are like what I stated above. Some of us actually have morals and/or standards, self respect. Some of us actually care about the ones around us and what we look like, how we dress and how we act.

Mid last year I started making some silly and unhealthy choices and at the time it might have seemed that I had no morals or self respect but when I sit and think about it I still did. Deep down they were still there – I’ve only really found them again in these last few months. It’s only been in these last 3 months that I stopped doing what I was doing mid last year. What made me stop you may ask, honestly it was the realisation that hit me, that what I was doing was disgusting and wasn’t the person I am or wanted to be. I had no help with stopping it or breaking the habit but I did it. I must say it was hard, very hard but I am so proud I decided to stop.

I’ve had people tell me that because I self harm/self harmed that I have/had no self respect. That I won’t be able to cope on my own if that’s what I resort to when things get tough. I haven’t done it in ages and no one helped me get through but me, no one made me stop but me. It was all up to me. I don’t understand how people can even think that someone who self harms or has self harmed has no self respect and are incapable of coping on their own.

I’m tired of being told that I have no morals or standards or being asked if I do because of some of the choices I make in my life. I care so much about the people I love and the people around me that’s why I am always trying to please them, make sure they are okay and are worried about what they make think of me or feel about things I do.

I have morals and lots of them, I have self respect and lots of it also. I know what is right and what is wrong. I don’t have to justify my life to anyone or my decisions. This year it’s all going to change. I am going to prove to everyone that I take my life seriously, that I have morals and standards and that I am done with people using me or playing me. I am going to take charge and change my life for the better. I’m going to find that motivation to go back to the gym and get fit again, find motivation to save money, get a second job and make the most of my days off.

 

xoWoundsHeal96