Not all of us in this world have morals and/or standards. Some of us don’t care where we end up in life or what we do. Some of us don’t care about the people around us or the ones we love. Some of us are too caught up in our own lives they don’t realise what is standing right in front of them. Some of us don’t care what we look like, how we dress, how we act of even how we treat the ones we love or the people around us.
Not all of us are like what I stated above. Some of us actually have morals and/or standards, self respect. Some of us actually care about the ones around us and what we look like, how we dress and how we act.
Mid last year I started making some silly and unhealthy choices and at the time it might have seemed that I had no morals or self respect but when I sit and think about it I still did. Deep down they were still there – I’ve only really found them again in these last few months. It’s only been in these last 3 months that I stopped doing what I was doing mid last year. What made me stop you may ask, honestly it was the realisation that hit me, that what I was doing was disgusting and wasn’t the person I am or wanted to be. I had no help with stopping it or breaking the habit but I did it. I must say it was hard, very hard but I am so proud I decided to stop.
I’ve had people tell me that because I self harm/self harmed that I have/had no self respect. That I won’t be able to cope on my own if that’s what I resort to when things get tough. I haven’t done it in ages and no one helped me get through but me, no one made me stop but me. It was all up to me. I don’t understand how people can even think that someone who self harms or has self harmed has no self respect and are incapable of coping on their own.
I’m tired of being told that I have no morals or standards or being asked if I do because of some of the choices I make in my life. I care so much about the people I love and the people around me that’s why I am always trying to please them, make sure they are okay and are worried about what they make think of me or feel about things I do.
I have morals and lots of them, I have self respect and lots of it also. I know what is right and what is wrong. I don’t have to justify my life to anyone or my decisions. This year it’s all going to change. I am going to prove to everyone that I take my life seriously, that I have morals and standards and that I am done with people using me or playing me. I am going to take charge and change my life for the better. I’m going to find that motivation to go back to the gym and get fit again, find motivation to save money, get a second job and make the most of my days off.