A few days ago I joined up to a new gym and today was the first day in over 4 months that I actually went back.
My motivation levels for doing anything has been so bad but my motivation for exercise and/or gym has been even worse. The thought of going to the gym and working out makes me feel so blaahhhh. I keep thinking “I want this fit, toned body. I want to feel good about my body at all times” but at the same time I just see it as pointless and too much effort.
Walking into the new gym today was daunting. New equipment, new environment. I didn’t know where to start, how to use any of the equipment and my mind set was absolute shit. I would have much rather been laying in bed or sitting on the couch watching TV. I knew that by joining this new gym it was for the better, it would better me and help my mental state and help me become more fit.
I remember how good I used to feel when I went to the gym on a regular basis and when I started seeing a change within my body and muscles. I just want that back again but I know it’s going to take a lot of patience, training and time. When I did my workout today it just felt pathetic, like it was no use and that it was all pointless. It felt like that no matter how hard I try or try and set my mind to go to the gym 3 times a week that I am just setting myself up for failure. I feel that I’ll never get that body I have been dreaming of and that working out is always going to be such an effort for me and super painful. I can’t even remember how I got through this pain, lack of motivation and bad mind set when I first ever joined the gym.
I honestly feel like I achieved nothing at the gym today. Like I got no benefit from it. I know it’s only the first day back at gym after months of not going but I feel like giving up on it already.